55 lines
2.7 KiB
Markdown
55 lines
2.7 KiB
Markdown
::: header
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# adhd
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::: section
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It's not overstimulation, it's *under*stimulation. Everything else is
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always more interesting than the thing you're currently doing. That link
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is more interesting than the tab I'm looking at, and now I have 279 (at
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the time of writing) tabs open. That hobby is more interesting than what
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I'm doing, and now have have 30 hobbies and suck at all of them. I have
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something important tomorrow, but there's 100 things more interesting
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right now. I get bored after approximately ten seconds.
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Normal people get bored and distracted too, but the difference is
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this is chronic and is always on and can cause incredibly absurd or
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at least interesting results over the long term. If there's a way
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to get stimulation, adhd people will try it. For example: complex
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music (ie. breakcore, dnb, psytrance), strong food flavors, doing
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random bullshit and seeing what happens, and maybe some masochistic
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tendancies. But once it becomes the new normal, it doesn't work as well;
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the default is to be understimulated.
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The task of focusing on things is like a solid brick wall, but mental
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instead of physical. Some people don't think it exists, or that I'm
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making it up. People who do want to help usually can't, since they don't
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really understand having adhd. Useless advice is ubiquitous: "That solid
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brick wall doesn't really exist!" or "Use your inner strength to break
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through the solid brick wall!" or "I did xyz to reach my goal behind
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this distinct lack of solid brick wall!" or "Just do the thing lol".
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Some people like natural methods to help with it, such as exercise or
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meditation. It's certainly possible to scale the solid brick wall, and
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get better at it over time. However, I'd rather take the easy way out
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and take what's effectively a magical pill that removes this pain from
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my life (adderall). I'm still not sure if adhd has any nice benefit,
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or if its a completely waste of time; "hyperfocus" is nice, but honestly
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I'd rather be able to focus normally so I don't lose track of time.
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At this point, it's probably a good idea to declare attention bankrupcy
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and close every tab and start fresh. I probably won't though, since I
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don't like closing unread tabs.
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> When focus is precious and slippery, willpower and energy become rare
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> and valuable resources.
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Some other neat side effects
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- My memory is broken. I remember some things perfectly but forget other
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things within seconds.
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- I can starve or get dehydrated by accident by forgetting to eat/drink
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- Adderall makes me shit a lot for some reason? It seems to happen to a
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lot of people, but nlm doesn't have anything. If anyone knows, please
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tell me <!-- i'm reachable at @tezlm:celery.eu.org on matrix and
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ZestyLemonade#1012 on discord. yup, i still have a numeric username -->
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